msscribe: Dilemma

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Super Sekrit Agent w/ Time Turner (msscribe) wrote,
@ 2003-04-23 09:24:00

Current mood:

awake

Dilemma
When I walked into our living room this morning, my husband had already left for work. On our coffee table were the following items:

A spatula
1 pair of his underwear (red boxers, they look clean)
A small box of Godiva chocolates with a note attached saying "I bought these for you, Dionne - love Evan"
A leather belt
Baby oil
A 3 foot piece of nylon rope

Any detectives out there want to fill me in on what my sweetheart could have been doing this morning? I'm not sure whether to be afraid, or extremely turned on.

(Post a new comment)

	akscully 2003-04-23 06:33 (link)
	W00t! sings Dionne's gonna get some! Dionne's gonna get some! Many of those things point to nookie, but do you really need three feet of rope? And the spatula just has me baffled. I mean, I suppose it could be used if someone was naughty... Eh, whatever. Dionne is gonna get some! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	msscribe 2003-04-23 09:06 (link)
	But the real question is , some of what? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	chrissymo 2003-04-23 06:50 (link)
	RAWR if I were you I'd make the mental note to get up just a little bit earlier to peep in on what you could be missing. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	msscribe 2003-04-23 09:06 (link)
	Done. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	porcinea 2003-04-23 07:14 (link)
	Preliminary investigative work suggests the turned on path will be most practical. (I read your question to my boy. Hijinks ensued. Thank you!) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	msscribe 2003-04-23 09:06 (link)
	Good to know I can be of use. (Reply to this) (Parent)

ari_o
2003-04-23 07:25 (link)

My guess would be that he was going to make pancakes but realised he didn't have enough time. So in a rush he started to get dressed for work but he remembered he had a present for you in the car. He threw on his bathrobe and while still carrying his pants and boxers and belt and ran out to the car. He came back in and left the chocolates on the table - set down the spatula which he forgot he'd stuck in his bathrob pocket. He decides to write you a note - and sets his boxers down too. He throws on his pants (forgetting his undies!) and cannot find his belt although it is right in front of him. He gets some rope and figures it will do just as well. But the piece of rope is three feet too long. So he cuts it down to size. But he gets a bit of a rope burn so he puts baby oil on it.

Now he is running really late so he runs out the door and leaves all that crap on your table.

Either that - or he is on the same allergy meds that I am.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 09:07:39

Re: -

ari_o, 2003-04-23 09:10:52

	blazefury 2003-04-23 07:34 (link)
	You know, I get the rest of the items but not the spatula, unless if I think that way then -erm...oh... heheh. Lucky you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 09:08:40

(no subject) -

tequilanolime, 2003-04-23 15:40:50

	darkrosetiger 2003-04-23 07:41 (link)
	Hey--don't joke about the spatula! People have been arrested for wielding those in Massachusetts! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 09:09:08

(no subject) -

saucy_wench, 2003-04-23 15:41:20

chili crab! -

dr_memory, 2003-05-07 16:34:15

	woo! eustacia_vye28 2003-04-23 07:47 (link)
	all i can say is.... hee hee! go you! creativity is a wonderful thing. so's a dirty mind. :D (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: woo! -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:34:12

aome
2003-04-23 07:58 (link)

Who cares what he was doing? I'm laughing my head off at the assortment of items. *g* Especially since one of my exes was into bondage, and I can just see the length of rope, the oil, the belt....

Ahem.

Actually, I had a pretty good laugh at the spatula too. I once saw on a sitcom this one woman bemoaning the fact that two ex-bfs had turned out to be gay. "I'm a spatula - I turn them!" Since this has happened to me, too, and one of my nicknames was "Spatulakova" (no, don't ask), I am greatly amused by the presence of the spatula in that pile of stuff.

Seems to me a great response would be to leave a pile of equally odd and titillating things for hubby to find tomorrow morning. Pair of undies, chocolate syrup, some twine, and a carrot. Something like that. Let him wonder....

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 09:10:22

	I have but one question for you: infinitus 2003-04-23 08:39 (link)
	Were there any signs of a midget or a live goat? If not, then I'm stumped. Am sure you will have a most romantical time anyway. (Although the absence of a goat makes this somewhat doubtful.) (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: I have but one question for you: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 09:11:05

Re: I have but one question for you: -

infinitus, 2003-04-23 12:38:38

	jessindistress 2003-04-23 08:45 (link)
	Erm, they could be just the usual things which accumulate on one's coffee table... or maybe not. But then again, I just have a dirty mind... Go you!!!! ;;) ~Jess (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 09:12:04

The Secret Life of Evan

megd
2003-04-23 08:55 (link)

Ok, I should not read my friends page before Physiology if I want to listen in class.

Instead of listening today, I wrote you a story. It sucks, don't laugh. It occupied 15 minutes of not listening to the professor time.

It had been an interesting night, While his wife slept, Evan was kidnapped out of their bed. Using a pair of red boxers the kidnappers found in the laundry, they quickly gagged him so he wouldn't wake his sleeping wife. Binding him with the leather belt from the floor and some nylon rope the brought, they dragged him from the room and off to their secret lair hidden beneath an innocent looking church.

In the depths of their secret lair, the Kentucky Fried Christian (TM) attempted to torture out the next plot development out of their captive.
"I don't know!" cried Evan stoically.
"Tell us what she is going to write!"
"I don't know!"
"How can you live with a big name sinner and not know. Do you think we believe you?"
"Because I don't know!"
"Liar!"

The Kentucky Fried Christians were getting agitated. Using methods they had learned from the annals of bad fanfiction, they tried to torture our hero Evan. But because they read all fanfiction through rosy, pink religion glasses, they misunderstood proper torture methods. To torture Evan, the leader pointed a spatula at his head while one of the henchwomen rubbed baby oil on Evan's back. Appalled that the Kentucky Fried Christians were touching him, our brave hero Evan looked for an out.

Wriggling one hand free from his bonds, he grabbed the spatula and the baby oil. Surprised that their torture wasn't working, the Kentucky Fried Christians ran screaming, as only religious nuts can. Evan gathered his things and headed home.

Stopping at the grocery on his way home, Evan bought a small box of chocolates for his wife for he feared that his absence might have been noticed or he might have to explain the baby oil on his back.

Arriving home, Evan scribbled a quick note and headed off to work having saved himself from the evil Kentucky Fried Christians.

Ok, so that was way more fun than Physiology.

Enjoy.

--Meg

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: The Secret Life of Evan -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 09:16:34

Re: The Secret Life of Evan -

megd, 2003-04-23 09:56:46

Re: The Secret Life of Evan -

infinitus, 2003-04-23 09:27:45

Re: The Secret Life of Evan -

eustacia_vye28, 2003-04-23 09:28:56

	hermorrine 2003-04-23 09:12 (link)
	Errr. I have no idea, but I do hope you'll fill us in later once you've asked him what the heck he was doing this morning with those items. ;) (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 09:17:21

seakays
2003-04-23 09:34 (link)

Dionne,

You know try as I might, the spatula is the item that leaves me furrowing my brow. The others I can actually create some naughty and nice suppositions about.

Random thought - does Evan have a sports bag. My dearest has a hockey bag that gets emptied about once a season and believe me the collection of oddities that can sometimes crawl out from the depths of said bag would give anyone cause to ponder.

Chuckles.

I truly hope that the items lead more to the turned on end, but a word of caution - Baby oil will really cause a breakdown in the chocolate = Be Careful - Let's not waste good chocolate!

Curiously yours,
sue

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:36:09

	lcohen 2003-04-23 09:57 (link)
	it is nudging at the edge of my memory that there was some episode of a sitcom a few years ago where the one funny line that people talked about the next day involved a spatula. other than that, it mystifies me as well, but i hope you have a very nice evening and remember that the baby oil will not prevent a rope burn. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:27:21

	queerasjohn 2003-04-23 10:10 (link)
	Oh my. Is it an especially...sturdy spatula? And without wanting to give grandmaternal citrus-sucking lessons, careful with the nylon rope unless it's a nylon-fabric mix. It doesn't have the same amount of "give" that natural or fabric fibre ropes have. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:28:16

	_lore 2003-04-23 10:32 (link)
	You'd think no one on your friends list has seen the movie "Stripes." Sheesh. (tee hee) love, lore (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:28:54

	nightfalltwen 2003-04-23 10:40 (link)
	Well... I can't seem to come up with anything to say about this list. Except agreeing with all the comments made here about hanky panky. Although, the Kentucky Fried Christians story seems likely. ^_^ Goodness... evil plot bunnies! beats them off with the spatula Back you devils! (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:30:14

Re: -

nightfalltwen, 2003-04-23 16:41:15

	munoz 2003-04-23 14:16 (link)
	What was the spatula made of? And you'd be surprised how many fun things you can do with only 3 feet of rope... The only thing I found baffling was the box of chocolates. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:32:17

	bridgelene 2003-04-23 14:47 (link)
	Ooooh, sounds interesting, and quite promising! Keep us updated! ;) (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:32:37

	saucy_wench 2003-04-23 15:36 (link)
	Tap that ass, baby. cough What a sweet gesture. The chocolates. Yes. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:33:15

Re: -

saucy_wench, 2003-04-23 18:37:47

	corinnethewise 2003-04-23 16:53 (link)
	Out of curiosity, what kind of spatula? Like a pancake flipper or a scraper. There are two utensils that share that name. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: -

msscribe, 2003-04-23 16:56:31

Re: -

corinnethewise, 2003-04-23 19:04:16

	ummmm nyx_wench 2003-04-23 20:40 (link)
	reading this just made my night how funny, intriguing and thought provoking. You must let us all know what the heck all that was for. All I have to say is hey just find an interesting use for each item. (Reply to this)

(Post a new comment)